Life Archives - Forest and Water

July 4, 2022July 4, 2022

In the Trenches

Among the many important lessons I’ve learned in life is to lead by example. Leading by example fosters common bonds.

In 1989, I spent part of the summer at Fort Bragg, NC for officer basic training as part of the University of New Hampshire’s R.O.T.C. training program. While on a field exercise, our non-commissioned officer trainer had us dig in for the night.

I remember giving him an attitude, questioning why he was having us dig foxholes when it was something we were never going to do as officers. His simple response was something to the effect of – “sir, because if you don’t dig foxholes, your soldiers never will.” I complied though at the time I don’t think I entirely bought into his argument.

Although I didn’t immediately appreciate the depth of the wisdom I had just received, I later came to realize that his words sunk in deeply. Since that time, in everything I do, I do my best to lead by example because I know being in the trenches together can actually bring people together toward a common purpose.

Fast forward to 2022

I’m in the midst of building a small house for myself. I decided to be my own general contractor, mainly because I’m on a budget, but also because I wanted to have a direct role in the construction. Construction started in December 2021. We are soon to start with the interior work. Among the many lessons I’ve learned about construction, I’ve learned that there’s a great deal of trust involved in working with contractors to build a home.

My political beliefs are likely different from those of the guys with whom I’m working. We don’t talk about politics, but it’s not difficult to figure it out. As of late, talk about gas prices and how it affects contractors reveals a lot about one’s politics. Still, with only a few exceptions, I’ve been able to establish good relationships with the contractors doing the work.

I’m confident that my experience building a house would be dramatically different if I were the kind of person who sat back and waited for the work to be done and only made periodic visits to the job site. Instead, I’m out there everyday there’s work being done. I help where I can and am available for instant decision making.

I do this not only because building the house is a substantial investment, but also because I recognize that as both the homeowner and the general contractor, I’m in a leadership role and that the basics of leadership are just as necessary on the construction site as they are at Fort Bragg.

What I’ve learned, or rather, what’s been reinforced, is that people can be good to each other and work together, even when their politics don’t align. Friendships can even form. It’s the same experience I had in the military. People from all walks of life serve in the military. Sometimes, you don’t know how much you have in common with another person until you’re in the trenches together.

Take from this post what you will. If you have any interest whatsoever to find a common purpose and common values, look for opportunities to be in the trenches together with people who are different. It could be volunteering at a local event. It could be helping a neighbor. It could be anything.

October 19, 2021October 19, 2021

On Heroes

In 2007, I wrote the dedication below to my grandfather, my hero, and read it at his funeral in January of that year. It’s about my grandfather, but also about heroes in general and why even when heroes make mistakes that they are still heroic. I pulled it out of my files on the occasion of Secretary and General Colin Powell’s passing because of the attention paid to the blot on General Powell’s otherwise impeccable record. General Powell was nearly as much of a hero for me as my grandfather. He had a deep impact on me in my formative years as a young U.S. Army officer.

In my personal and professional lives, I have tried to follow General Powell’s thirteen rules of leadership. Like General Powell, the military was a place where I found structure and purpose and where class and wealth did no matter. As I have since my grandfather’s passing, I feel a duty to continue honoring the spirt and lessons of my two greatest heroes in life.

January 22, 2007

Nearly 17 years ago, I wore this same uniform as I embarked on a rewarding chapter of my life in the U.S. Army. On that day in May of 1990 at Zais Hall, my grandfather honored me by administering the oath that officially brought me into the ranks of the officer corps. It was a proud moment for both of us. He hadn’t put on the uniform in many years and was relieved and excited to find that it still fit. I’m having that same experience today – it’s been 11 years. That ceremony in 1990 was one of only two times I ever witnessed my grandfather crying. I stand here today to honor him as he did me that windy day at UNH.

It will come as no surprise to many of you when I say that my grandfather is my hero. I’ve wanted to be like him for as long as I can remember. Just before coming to New Hampshire on this solemn occasion, I re-read a school paper I wrote my freshman year at UNH. It very clearly [and emphatically] stated my desire to be just like him. Reading it made me cry because it was a reminder that the notion of wanting to be just like my granddad wasn’t some idea I had cooked up in adulthood. In several ways, I have followed in my grandfather’s footsteps and my personality has been tremendously shaped by his influence. I don’t recall that I ever told my grandfather that he was my hero, but I think he knew it. Nothing has changed since those early days in New Castle. What has changed over time is my definition of the word “hero”.

As heroes usually are, my grandfather was larger than life; especially so when I was a young boy. It’s hard for anyone to debate Douglas Woodward’s impressive resume of life experiences. A jack of many trades and master of quite a few. He was no intellectual slouch. He was even, as he fondly liked to say of other old and crusty New Englanders … a little bit “salty”. He had what is called in the study of leadership – “presence”. Those I would meet in the seacoast area always had a high opinion of my grandfather. He was above all else a man of honor and principles. From him I learned – always do the right thing and don’t take shortcuts. He occupied a higher plain from my young-eyed perspective.

As I got older, I got to know the person. I got to know the man. I got to know that he was human and that he even had flaws. That kind of information had to be processed against my image of him as the infallible hero. It was a process that took several years as I got to know him better man to man. In the end, my grandfather is still my hero. He never stopped being my hero and he never stopped being anything other than himself.

If you don’t have a hero in your life, then here’s some advice – it’s a 360 degree circular path to finding one and keeping him or her in hero status. At zero degrees of the circle is the easy part … viewing your hero in the bubble of infallible greatness. Enjoy that part for 179 degrees. At 180 degrees of the circle is the hard part that may shake your desire to hold on to your hero – the realization that he or she is human like the rest of us. You’ll stay there for another 179 degrees as you figure out what to do with the new understanding of your hero’s very human nature. At 360 degrees your hero will be back on top. By 360 degrees, you will find that your hero is even more heroic. You will believe that your hero is as great now as he or she was at zero degrees, despite [and because of] the reality check that happened at 180. I will miss my grandfather and I just wanted to tell you that he is my hero. I hope each of you find one just like him.

Scott Woodward

December 7, 2019May 9, 2020

Finding a Life Lesson in SCUBA Diving

SCUBA diving is intimidating to the newly initiated. On a trip to Cost Rica this past November, I spent two days diving with my friend, Vermonter and fellow dog rescuer, Roxie. Roxie is a fearless diver and her Facebook photos of her diving excursions inspired me to take another shot at diving, something I hadn’t done in over twenty-five years. In the weeks leading up to the trip, I was excited about getting to see first-hand the kinds of sea life that Roxie captures in her photos.

I made sure to mention diving whenever talk of my pending trip came up in conversation. I felt confident and laid-back about it, as if it would be a piece of cake. On the morning of our first day, the dive master, Bobbie Jo, took me through a refresher course in a nearby pool. Although the facade of my confidence cracked a bit during the refresher, I still felt pretty good about the whole thing, right up to when the dive boat backed up to shore for loading the tanks and all the other gear we would need for the first day of diving. Then the anxiety kicked in big time as the situation got real.

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I pulled Bobbie Jo aside and told her that I would pay her the full amount for two days of diving, but that there was no way I was going to dive. I told her I was afraid to do something stupid, potentially hurting others or myself. She tried to coax me into coming along for the boat ride and maybe do some snorkeling. After a few minutes of back and forth, I agreed to go. On the ride out to the first dive site, I regained a bit of confidence and so I geared up with Roxie, Bobbie Jo and Roy, another seasoned diver.

Roxie and Roy went in first and started their descent while Bobbie Jo stayed with me. The two of us then got in the water and started our descent, but I immediately panicked and went back to the surface. My confidence was shattered. It didn’t help that my mask wouldn’t seal. We took off our BCD’s and got back in the boat. We then snorkeled for about twenty minutes. Bobbie Jo was extremely kind and patient with me. My mask still would not seal so even snorkeling was not all that enjoyable. Roxie and Roy returned after their dive and we then made our way to the second dive site.

The second site offered a “play pen” and Bobbie Joe intentionally took us there as an opportunity for me to boost my confidence. The play pen is a relatively shallow area of about twenty-five feet on one side of a rock island in the Gulf of Papagayo off Del Coco Beach. I felt much more comfortable there. It felt like something in between a swimming pool and deeper waters. This time, I switched masks and we geared up for another dive. I held on to Bobbie Jo as we descended down the rope that attached the boat to bottom of the dive area. I continued to hold on to her for the entire dive.

I was scared and I kept telling myself to stay calm and to not panic. But, I also began to enjoy the scenery and the sensation of feeling like an astronaut. By the third and final dive of the day, I was still somewhat scared, but feeling significantly more confident at descending and diving on my own without having to hold on to Bobbie Jo. In fact, I did a successful free descent without thinking about it. By the third dive, I was starting to feel like just another diver.

The second day of diving went without a hitch. Opposite to day one, I was excited about putting on the gear and starting the first dive. On day two, I had nearly mastered being able to control my buoyancy by taking deeper breaths when I needed to rise and exhaling, or letting out air from my BCD, when I needed to go down. I kept my arms and hands folded at my waist and only used my hands to point out creatures or turn myself in the current. For a beginner, I did well on my oxygen consumption. Our dives started to go just over an hour at about 40 feet of depth with 500 bars remaining in the tank.

A few days afterward, Bobbie Jo complimented me by saying that I was “on the road to being a very good diver!” In the span of two days, I went from being a panic-stricken newbie to feeling confident enough to want to finish my certification and go on another dive trip at the next opportunity, hopefully next spring or summer with a repeat in Costa Rica or Honduras.

In the last week, I’ve realized how much my diving experience is analogous to my journey in trying to find a meaningful relationship. I realized after a recent break up that I had consistently gravitated toward situations that are familiar, comfortable and safe. Not unlike the last time I had tried SCUBA, I thought I had overcome my all my fears and barriers, but I realized that it wasn’t true. I had been doing my best, but I was in relationships with less confidence than I really had inside, much like the casual, but unearned confidence I had before this recent diving trip to Costa Rica that lasted right up until the dive boat backed up to shore.

When it comes to relationships, I’ve definitely put on the gear (as it were), and have done a better job at being less fearful, especially after my more recent experience surviving cancer. But, at best, I’ve been in the play pen. I was part way there, but not all the way and it was fear that was getting in my way. Being out in open water and pressing on the deflate button to descend down the rope is, or was, the absolutely scariest part of SCUBA diving for me. Aside from feeling closed in, I was terrified of all the things that could go wrong while submerged 40 feet under water and having to rely on the gear. It’s not unlike how I’ve felt going all the way in relationships.

Self-contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus is what each of us should have when it comes to a meaningful relationship. What I took away from the diving experience is that I have to rely on my own gear. I have to rely on my own skills. I have to control my breathing to conserve oxygen and maneuver more gracefully. Only when I do these things can I be a competent diver without having to hold on to the diver master or any other diver and most especially to avoid panic. By the end of the second day of diving, I felt like just another diver and that’s exactly where each of us should be when it comes to meaningful relationships.

A meaningful relationship should be like diving with another competent diver where each is primarily dependent him or herself, but each diver is also there to support the other when the situation arises. Like diving, relationships are about enjoying the scenery both individually and together. Like diving, it’s also important to never lose track of each other. It’s hard to describe without experiencing it, but in SCUBA diving, you can find yourself literally on top of another diver, or uncomfortably far apart. The trick is to maintain confidence in yourself and in each other. I found it to be magical, that sort of underwater symbiosis between divers. When the dive is over and after returning to the surface, there should be nothing but big smiles of satisfaction and happiness. Every day should be like a diving experience. For me, the diving experience was another milestone in overcoming fear and being able to get to a new depth and the feeling of weightlessness. I’m looking forward to applying this lesson to relationships.

(underwater photos, compliments of Roxie and Roy)