Among the many important lessons I’ve learned in life is to lead by example. Leading by example fosters common bonds.
In 1989, I spent part of the summer at Fort Bragg, NC for officer basic training as part of the University of New Hampshire’s R.O.T.C. training program. While on a field exercise, our non-commissioned officer trainer had us dig in for the night.
I remember giving him an attitude, questioning why he was having us dig foxholes when it was something we were never going to do as officers. His simple response was something to the effect of – “sir, because if you don’t dig foxholes, your soldiers never will.” I complied though at the time I don’t think I entirely bought into his argument.
Although I didn’t immediately appreciate the depth of the wisdom I had just received, I later came to realize that his words sunk in deeply. Since that time, in everything I do, I do my best to lead by example because I know being in the trenches together can actually bring people together toward a common purpose.
Fast forward to 2022
I’m in the midst of building a small house for myself. I decided to be my own general contractor, mainly because I’m on a budget, but also because I wanted to have a direct role in the construction. Construction started in December 2021. We are soon to start with the interior work. Among the many lessons I’ve learned about construction, I’ve learned that there’s a great deal of trust involved in working with contractors to build a home.
My political beliefs are likely different from those of the guys with whom I’m working. We don’t talk about politics, but it’s not difficult to figure it out. As of late, talk about gas prices and how it affects contractors reveals a lot about one’s politics. Still, with only a few exceptions, I’ve been able to establish good relationships with the contractors doing the work.
I’m confident that my experience building a house would be dramatically different if I were the kind of person who sat back and waited for the work to be done and only made periodic visits to the job site. Instead, I’m out there everyday there’s work being done. I help where I can and am available for instant decision making.
I do this not only because building the house is a substantial investment, but also because I recognize that as both the homeowner and the general contractor, I’m in a leadership role and that the basics of leadership are just as necessary on the construction site as they are at Fort Bragg.
What I’ve learned, or rather, what’s been reinforced, is that people can be good to each other and work together, even when their politics don’t align. Friendships can even form. It’s the same experience I had in the military. People from all walks of life serve in the military. Sometimes, you don’t know how much you have in common with another person until you’re in the trenches together.
Take from this post what you will. If you have any interest whatsoever to find a common purpose and common values, look for opportunities to be in the trenches together with people who are different. It could be volunteering at a local event. It could be helping a neighbor. It could be anything.